Each one, Teach one?

We got a new kat that started on the J-O-B this week. He seems full of vem and vigor as you would expect any young employee to be the 1st week on the job. There are of course some challenges as 0ur firm is a relatively new company just coming out of the startup phase, so there's lots of kinks that the organization is working out. So, my challenge is how do I be a mentor to someone who will most definitely need it, but is reluctant to accept it?

I am a big fan of "each one, teach one" but the process can be somewhat draining when the process of wading in the water for your younger compadre has the current pulling him in different directions. Still, I wonder how you feel when you encounter a young colleague entering your profession [specifically IT, Management, and Engineering] who happens to share your spiritual or cultural and ethnic background and looks to need your help. Do you feel obligated to jump in? Is it a situation where it is best to wait on them to ask? Or do you just toss it out there in a take it or leave it fashion? What say you

A SOULFUL RELATIONSHIP fwd'd to me from Roderick Head who got it from LaShanda McKissic

I do not take credit for this timely and poignant article -- merely acknowledging its wisdom and profoundness. The Earliest posting that I can find would force me to give credit to the brother listed, but I just want to take the time out to thank LaShanda McKissic for passing on this wisdom to my good friend Roderick Head who passed on to me. I may think like and live by most of these tennents it is always good to get more understanding. I thank God for a loving relationship and cherish every minute of it.

A SOULFUL RELATIONSHIP BY REV. RONALD MCFADDEN -

A SOULFUL RELATIONSHIP

If you're not married yet, share this with a friend. If you are married, share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflect on it. An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye."

Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults are not really important.

Once you decide to commit to someone, over time their flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique individuals who have decided to share a life together.

Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best of each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Manipulation, control, jealousy, deceitfulness, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship.

Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

Q. What keeps a relationship strong?

Answer: Communication, intimacy (not sex), trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, a shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note), sharing common goals and interests. Leave a nice message on their voice mail or send a nice email.

Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can't always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try to control one another.

Learn each other’s family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless.

Don't put pressure on each other for material goods. Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain will replace the passion.

“Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think." The grass withers, the flowers fades, but the word of God stands forever. Isaiah 40:8. Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight?

Always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary. The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the ‘I’. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

LaShanda McKissic